Palmers Sick Note

Original song: Paddys sick note (Dubliners/Trad)
Lyrics: Dr. Liz
First Performed by: Bungle
First Heard: 2003 National (Beale Park)

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight,
For at the time of writing it I am not a pretty sight,
Me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to say why Palmers not at work today.

Whilst working on the Mortice lock, some bricks I had to clear,
But to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea,
The leader wasn't very pleased, him being an awkward sod,
He said I'd have to carry them down the ladder in me hod.

Now to move all of these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel, and secured a rope below,
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead,
Well I shot up like a rocket, 'til to my dismay I found,
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head,
But clinging tight though numb with shock, despite this mighty blow,
while the barrel spilt out half it's load, some fourteen feet below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor, I then
outweighed the barrel and so started down once more, Still clinging
tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain, When halfway down I
met the bloody barrel once again.

Now the force of this collision in the midst of Mortice lock,
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock,
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground,
And I landed in the broken bricks that were all scattered round.

And as I lay there on the ground, I thought I'd passed the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst,
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope,
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

Now the barrel then being heavier, it started down once more,
And it landed right across me as I lay upon the floor,
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say,
Sure I hope you'll understand why Palmers not at work today.